Dumb English Laws

No cows may be driven down the roadway between 10 AM and 7 PM unless there is prior approval from the Commissioner of Police.

All land must be left to the eldest son.

Divorces are outlawed.

Since 1313, MPs are not allowed to don armor in Parliament.

Those wishing to purchase a television must also buy a license.

With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.

All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.

It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).

It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.

Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).

Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.

A bed may not be hung out of a window.

It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.

Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.

It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.